I'm not a telephone user. I don't know why, because I'm really fond of conversation, but I don't initiate phone calls on the whole.

I have been a phone answerer all my life. By the time I was five or six I was politely giving the number and asking if I could help. A few years later I was taking messages rather than simply fetching the grown-up requested. So it isn't a phobia or anything like that, and I'm certainly not shy.

BUT I am so much not a phonecall maker that I find that I even have to look up my work number, and I can remember without prompting the number of just one of my close friends. Even in the village where I just have to remember the final three figures there are only about four numbers I have memorised (including my sister - the only family member whose number I don't have to look up). And no, it's not a memory problem either - I can remember things (including those numerically rather than verbally based) much more complicated than phone numbers.

My mobile remains off and in my car used only for "I'm late, don't worry" or "I'm in Morrisons/Tesco/Asda - is there anything you need?" There is no signal at home and I won't have it on when driving or at work.

Even when I do phone my calls tend to be short and businesslike rather than chatty.

Of course the fact that my father has always had a tendency to wander into the room tapping his watch and shaking his head, even when it was the person at the other end who initiated the call, may have something to do with this. He still does it even now we are on a scheme where evening annd weekend calls are free. He's great on turning off lights too, but so am I.

What brought this on? I wanted to phone one of my closest relatives, and I could only find the number from the address they left around ten years ago! So I emailed instead.