There is a point where being helpful topples over into officiousness; often the pivotal point where one becomes the other is the question - or lack of it - "Would it be useful if I . . . ?" It's is a mark we have all overstepped in our time; I know that - to my shame - I have.

This morning I came down to find that my father had put the dusters I had left to soak overnight in wads about ten thick on the kitchen radiator. Experience suggests that the middle ones would be smelly before they were dry especially as the heater won't be on between 8.30 a.m. and 6.00 p.m. So I put them back in the bowl both to check whether he had washed and rinsed them properly this morning (he claims yes, but I have my doubts about the 'properly') and to hang them out on the line to blow dry. O.K., I know that it's his house and that he is much better at using dusters than I am, but all too many of these had been used by Joe to do silver and brass cleaning and were covered in black marks; moreover I seem to be the only person who knows NOT to put dirty dusters back in the cupboard, but to wash them out at once in very hot water and detergent so that any polish marks don't have time to set.

End of rant. However, what I don't understand is why my father saw fit to tell me that I was ungrateful when he must have known I wouldn't be pleased; my mother told him regularly over forty years that hanging washing up in bunches or stacking them wet is counterproductive, and I too have mentioned the matter over the years.