Yesterday they announced the world's cheapest car, the Tata 'Nano'. It sounds and looks good, but having described my ideal holiday day, I thought that I would describe my ideal car.

I'm not a speed fiend: I'd probably like a bit of extra acceleration to get me out of hairy situations, but I'm quite happy with a top cruising speed of 70mph, which is the most the law allows, nor do I want a giant to pull horse boxes or caravans, so a huge engine is not on my remit - in fact somewhere in the region of 1,000cc will probably suit me fine.

Under the bonnet I want reliable, long-lasting and not too complex. There's a lot of me which says the Morris Minor 1000 which can be repaired without trouble by anyone in possession of a spanner, a screwdriver and half-a-yard of elastic is pretty well the perfect car. However, there are certain improvements in the last half century which are genuine improvements and which I would want to include in my ideal car.

Let's leave the engine to the experts - it's not as if I am ever going to do more to it than check the oil and water before a long journey, and only if I can't find someone else to do so for me.

Inside I want leather upholstery and a walnut veneered dashboard with nice round readable speedo etc. I want a glove compartment with a lock, and another which also closes. I want door pockets wide enough to hold the de-icer, drink holders, a clip for reusable carrier bags (that could be in the boot), a fire extinguisher, a first-aid box, a pen holder, a container for small change, a drawer big enough to hold a road atlas and a waste bin which is accessible from both front and back seats. In the back I would like a pull-down arm rest which is a box which contains puzzles, games and books which can be changed according to the age of the passengers; it should also fold away to provide a centre seat with a three point seat belt. The back seat should have sufficient leg room for three six-footers even when the front seats are as far back as they can go.

I'm not bothered about a radio/cd player, but if I have one there should be earphones in the back so that I never ever have to listen to Galaxy again!

Could the heating/air-conditioning be independent for the driver and passengers? Possibly even independent for the driver's head and feet?

I need a good big boot, and I don't want to have to take everything out (probably in the dark, in pouring rain and sub-zero temperatures) to get at the jack and the spare wheel. (The spare wheel, by the way, should be a proper one, not one of those potty 'get you home' jobs!) I'd like a certain number of straps (like old fashioned adjustable seat-belts) to hold shopping (including bottles) and luggage in place. I want the boot to be fully enclosed without one of those daft, removable shelves held in place by plastic which invariably breaks before the car reaches its second owner (i.e. me). I would rather like the boot to open out flat in such a way that it makes a surface on which to put the picnic basket or even a gas ring on which to boil a kettle, and so that you can pull boxes and suitcases out without having to bruise your knuckles getting a grip underneath them to lift them over some vicious edge.

As regards the external look of my car, I'd like a nice round organic shape somewhere between Morris 1000 and Jaguar mk 2, in bright red or racing green, with plenty of chrome trim. I also want plenty of ground clearance which copes well with climbing on to grass verges or kerbs when meeting on-coming vehicles in narrow country lanes and equally narrow town and village streets.

Well that's it: not unlike a Wolseley 1500 with a few modern modifications.