Auntie Barbara travelled about 5,000 miles to visit her brother, and her nephews and nieces. At the beginning of her trip she made a brief visit to her brother David, with the promise of a return before she went back to Canada. He died yesterday, and I can't decide whether it is good chance that she was able to see him one last time and will be in England for his funeral, or the rottenest of luck that it should happen at this time. At the moment she is with Pam who, like me, is not related to David and may well never have met him; does it make it easier that she is not having to offer comfort to people as much affected as herself? Or does the fact that she is with people who, however sympathetic, do not personally share her grief make it harder to bear? I think that the fortnight of her holiday before the funeral will be completely overshadowed by this, so that any enjoyment of the visit will be tinged with guilt, and when she doesn't manage to enjoy outings and treats laid on for her a different guilt at not being able to take sufficient pleasure in them.

There is also a horrid bit of me that remembers an episode of Seinfeld called The Implant in which George Constanza tries to get hold of a copy of a death certificate in order to get 50% back on his plane ticket. You can see where I am going with this . . . not a nice thing to think. Not my money, not my bereavement and certainly not my business.