Yesterday Joe and I noticed that the show house on the new development opposite the church was open to view so we went to have a look. Not that we have any plans to live in one of these houses, nor indeed have we the half million needed to buy one: our motivation was sheer nosiness.

This development consists of seven 4 or 5 bedroom houses each costing around £500,000. In the one we saw two of the bedrooms (one single, one double) had en suite shower rooms, and two small doubles shared the family bathroom. There was an enormous landing. Downstairs there was a fairly small kitchen open to a dining room, and a separate utility room. From the dining area was a small sitting area which is also a passage room from the front hall to the kitchen etc. Off the front hall is a small study, a loo and a large sitting room with a conservatory-type room behind it - this has a proper roof rather than a glass one which is just as well as it faces due south. The kitchen was blandly modern, and a lot of the finishes around the house were noticeably rough. The show house has been expensively furnished in a style which I would describe as Louis Quinze meets insipid modern minimalism: in other words rather a long way from what I like, although Joe loves it.

However furnishings are a side issue. What really amazes me is how non-eco-friendly the heating etc. is; you would think that an expensive new build in the country would make use of the best of green technology. The plots are quite small although described as large in the advertisement. That advert is seriously misleading in any case as the artist's impression of the site shows it backing onto empty fields whereas it actually backs on to Chapel Lane in which dwells half Swallow's population. Through the field on which they are built flows, trickles or stagnates - depending on the season - the beck: and that field has always become totally water-logged whenever it rains. Nobody in the village sees any reason why the gardens should not be equally water-logged.

Swallow Beck

As far as I am aware nobody has bought any of the seven houses yet - either those that are completed or those that are still at little beyond the planning stage. It was mentioned at our PCC on Monday that proximity to a pretty church added value to houses; another thing which adds value is school catchment area which couldn't be better unless, like me you have a rooted objection to selective schooling. Yet in Swallow there are eleven houses facing the church, of which seven expensive new builds, one large, well renovated old house and one largish modern house are all for sale. There is another old farmhouse for rent, and just one old cottage with a family who intend to stay. There are several more houses dating from the 1960s/70s in the village for sale. It's a nice village in good commuter territory for Grimsby, Lincoln, Scunthorpe and the Humber Bank industries, but about 15% to 20% of the houses are empty or for sale, and absolutely nothing is moving on the market.