Now, I'm not what you would describe as a party girl. I don't like crowds. I don't like loud music. I drink very little.

But I do like a good celebration - plenty of food, people I like, good conversation and (perhaps) a few party games.

This is what I planned to do for my father who has a birthday ending in nought coming up on November 8th.

He doesn't want it.

"Don't tell anyone" he said, "they might start thinking that I'm a silly old fool."

My father is not a silly old fool.

Except in that he thinks he can hide his age when he admits to being old enough to have been in the homeguard and I make no secret of my age having celebrated my 50th birthday properly.

And talking of 50th birthdays, my brother-in-law Glen is every bit as bad, and refuses to have a party on December 12th. (This is the man who really pushed the boat out and ordered a Chinese takeaway for his Silver Wedding Anniversay!)

So I am not slogging my guts out making party food, but I am telling everyone these dates in the hope that cards and calls will force these two party-poopers into some small level of celebration.

In the meantime I will be buying some wine, nibbles and biscuits in anticipation of Christmas visitors - and if they turn up a month or so earlier I shall (ever the good girl guide) be prepared.